Confession: I watch This Is Us. I’m not saying I agree with every message the show inserts, but I either change the channel or simply realize that the writers have a different agenda than I do. For the most part, the show spotlights the importance of family and the significance of the family bond.
Last night’s episode was very intriguing and as I watched the episode’s conclusion, I thought about why I like this show so much. If you don’t watch that program, I will tell you that it follows a family by flashing back, explaining the significance or impact of past choices and events. The characters are fleshed out; they become real to the viewer.
I remember when I was writing Creating Futures, Richard would say, “it was at that moment,” or “it was Bernie/my mom/that person/that event that made a difference in my life. Do you see the connection I’m making?
If you haven’t read my book yet, let me tell you what I want you to look for, if you don’t mind being told what to do. If you do mind, would you do it anyway? Please? Thanks. (That is how I beg.)
While Richard’s extraordinary successes are fascinating, admirable, and exciting, I want readers to understand how his childhood events and the people who intersected his life played into his ability to overcome challenges and achieve success. If you think about it, he had a lot of hurdles to overcome. Any one of them would have been a good reason to spend his life ignoring his passion and staying in the “safe” zone. However, his backstory, just like mine and yours, is the reason we are who we are. Can you identify a few of the people and events that contributed to who you are today?
Would you believe Richard didn’t think his life was interesting enough to write a book about? I had to use my most powerful persuasive speaking techniques to get him to agree. After I wore him down (that’s one of my techniques), he then took charge and said, “Ok, I will commission you to document my life for my children.” Whatever. I wasn’t going to waste time arguing with someone who was accustomed to being in charge. I just knew I wanted to write this story.
After that conversation, a cold terror swept over me about what I had just agreed to do. I’m so glad I set aside the terror and began the work. What began as a project to document Richard’s life for his children became very personal for me, revealing the common thread of humanity. Our lives are a totality of the years we have been on earth, not just the final product we see in the mirror right now.
Like many, if not all of you, I frequently think about how my past, from the moment I was born until yesterday, makes me who I am. Everything in our lives is knit/crocheted/welded (choose your metaphor) together. I spend time with my happy memories, but it seems that the sad, angering, uncomfortable, and tragic memories somehow more easily dominate my mind. I’m working on switching that around, but meanwhile, if those bad memories insist on taking space in my brain, I insist that I examine them and find the good that came from them: how I developed character, learned a lesson, overcame, etc.
Although I don’t have a list of successes like Richard’s, I sure have some important successes. I’m sure I’m not aware of many successes I have had encountering students’ lives over the years. I’m absolutely positive that you have a great big fat list of successes as well that are a culmination of your past events and those who intersected your life.
I would love to hear one or more of your “backstories,” something that impacted your life. My email is djcr232@gmail.com or you can use the contact form on this website. Don’t worry about spelling and grammar or any of that junk. Just tell your story. You can even send a video if you’re more comfortable verbalizing your story. Don’t worry about how insignificant you think it might sound. I need to hear from you.
Please, pretty please, with sugar on top? (I’m old and have honed my begging skills.)
